16 extra, useless words: Graeme Swann and the Art of Apology

Graeme Swann is the latest England player to offer a non-apology-apology to join the illustrious club whose membership ranges from Tony Greig to Stuart Broad (at least). A central contract with the England and Wales Cricket Board must come with training in public relations and verbal acrobatics.

Whoever imparts this training on England's cricketers is clearly an excellent educator, for in Swann's case, he was going to apologize unreservedly, until the training kicked in and he produced 16 extra words, which must have made the ECB (and the English cricketer in general) very proud.

"It all happened in the heat of the moment and it certainly wasn't anything malicious," said Swann. "I apologise unreservedly if I did swear - and I know I did - because it's certainly not something I condone. I feel a bit ashamed, because it wasn't meant as a personal slight at him, it was just a release of pent-up emotion.

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A genius account of mediocrity

Great Bong, that master reviewer of bollywood's finest, has an unforgettable account of opening night of the third edition of Ringmaster Modi's magnus opus. Among other things, it contains the single most brutal demolition of any cricket personage in the history of cricket writing.

"....Navjyot Sidhu, the Adolf Eichmann of the English Language... "

An essential truth about the IPL is also succinctly pointed out:

"There are many things the IPL can be accused of—-of bastardizing the game, of tearing apart world cricket, of bringing even more money into the sport. But one thing it has always been innocent of has been good taste."

He does it justice.

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